A Guide to Creating a Parenting Agreement

This guide outlines the essential components of a Parenting Agreement and offers practical tips for creating one that works for your family.

What is a Parenting Agreement?

A Parenting Agreement or Parenting Plan is a written document that outlines how parents will share the responsibilities and duties associated with raising their children, as well as setting out the practical arrangements.

This agreement addresses several aspects of parenting, such as living arrangements, education, healthcare, and their daily schedules and activities A Parenting Agreement can be really useful as  it clearly outlines each parent’s responsibilities and expectations, reducing ambiguity and the potential for conflicts in the future. The agreement prioritises the needs and well-being of the children and provides an agreed document, which can be used and relied upon by both parents.

Agreeing on a plan can help the parents avoid going to Court to litigate  the arrangements to be put in place for the children. This will save time and money and usually empowers the parents to work together collaboratively for the sake of their children.

A Parenting Plan agreed between the parents also saves the risk of   the Court imposing arrangements that one or both parents are not 100 percent happy with. Whilst an experienced solicitor can advise on the likely outcomes at Court and the factors that the Court will take into account, the exact outcome can never be guaranteed and invariably there is likely to need to be some compromise by each parent.

Parents working together in reaching agreements for their children and drafting these into a Parenting Plan will  demonstrate to them  that their parents are prioritising their needs  and paves the way for a positive co-parenting relationship moving forward, which will undoubtedly benefit the children in both the short and long term.

In the event that a dispute between the parties does arise later then the Parenting Plan can be a very persuasive and useful document for the Court to consider within any later proceedings.

What to include in a Parenting Agreement

When creating a Parenting Agreement, consider including the following key components:

Living Arrangements

Specify where children will stay and when. Provide as much detail as possible, including:

• The primary residence of the children or whether there will be shared care between the parents and if so whether this will be on an equal or unequal basis. i.e., 7 out of 14 nights with each parent (equal) or 9 with one parent and 5 with the other (unequal).
• A visitation schedule for the non-resident parent
• Holidays, birthdays, and special occasions

Remember that the schedule will change as the children get older  and their activities, school, and lives change. It is beneficial to implement something and observe how it works, with the understanding that it may need to be reviewed and amended  over time, by way of agreement. Unless your children are privately educated, you will typically have 13 weeks of school holidays to discuss and plan for in addition to term time.

Dispute Resolution

Outline how significant decisions regarding the children’s education, health, and welfare will be made. This includes:

• Joint decision-making responsibilities
• Any procedures for resolving disagreements
• Criteria for involving third parties, such as mediators or family law solicitors

You might have specific expectations  you wish  your children to follow at both homes or a shared approach in respect of  discipline. However, remember that you may have limited influence over how the other parent raises the children. While you might not see eye to eye on every parenting style, try to identify areas of agreement and incorporate these into your plan. This could include even small details such as  bedtime routines or screen time.

Communication Guidelines

Establish how parents will communicate about the children. This may cover:

• Preferred methods of communication (e.g., email, text, phone calls)
• Frequency of updates and check-ins regarding the children’s well-being
• Guidelines for communication in front of the children

Communication can be challenging when co-parenting, so mutually agreeing on the best method is important. Additionally, maintaining a respectful and positive tone can help create a collaborative environment. Establishing clear expectations for communication will not only help reduce misunderstandings but also set a positive example for your children on how to resolve conflicts amicably. Finally, consider setting up regular meetings to discuss any ongoing issues or adjustments needed in the parenting plan or agree at what juncture the plan will be revisited by you both ensuring that both parents remain engaged and informed about the children’s needs.

Education and Extracurricular Activities

Detail the children’s educational needs and activities, including:

• Schools the children will attend
• Involvement in extracurricular activities and sports
• Responsibilities for transportation to and from events

Extracurricular activities often require flexibility from both parents, and the child’s needs for these activities will change as they grow. Keep in mind that these activities are for the children, and it’s essential to arrange an agreement that allows both parents to participate and attend their child’s events. Establish open lines of communication regarding times, dates, and transportation needs to ensure that both parents are informed and can coordinate effectively. Additionally, consider including a plan for how to support the child’s interests and development, allowing for adjustments as new opportunities arise or as the children’s preferences evolve. This collaborative approach not only benefits the children but also fosters a positive co-parenting relationship.

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Healthcare Decisions

Include provisions for healthcare, such as:

• Who will be responsible for medical and dental appointments and health decisions
• Access to medical records
• Emergency procedures and contacts

Identify who will schedule appointments and how both parents will communicate about the child’s health. Establish emergency procedures, including who to contact when and how and when to notify each other. This plan should also cover vaccinations, dentist, specialist referrals, and medical treatments. Detailing this can help ensure that both parents are involved in the child’s healthcare and that the child receives consistent and supportive care.

Financial Responsibilities

Clarify financial arrangements related to the children, including:

• Child maintenance payments
• Contributions to educational expenses
• Any healthcare costs

To ensure both parents understand their financial obligations, child maintenance amounts and frequencies must be specified. Explain how school supplies, extracurricular activities, and any other costs will be shared. Having a clear financial framework can help avoid misunderstandings and ensure that both parents contribute equally to the children’s needs.

Review and Amendment Process

Specify how often the agreement will be reviewed and the process for making amendments. This ensures that the agreement remains relevant and addresses changing circumstances.

Conclusion

By establishing a clear, child-focused framework for co-parenting, parents can foster a positive environment for their children, minimise conflicts, and ensure that both parties are on the same page. If you find it challenging to agree on certain aspects, consider involving a mediator or family law solicitor to facilitate discussions.

A Parenting Agreement serves as a valuable tool for guiding your parenting journey and can be revisited as your family’s needs evolve. However, if you have further questions or need assistance in drafting an agreement , don’t hesitate to seek professional advice from a solicitor experienced in family law.

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